This is going to be long. This is going to be horrible. I am not sorry. I need to write this out. Even if no one reads it. Unable to take legal action and now needing PTS therapy for the past 5 days of hell I need to write. I’ll try to name some sections if you want to skip. After writing this I feel like no one cares about me. Only myself. Left alone for five days… I am even worse. I am so much… so much worse.
I went into a therapy group with hope and acceptance and now I am closed. If I have to deal with being suicidal, with struggling with depression and self hate myself entire life then so be it. I would take that any day then going back to a mental ward. They are sick, they are designed to save people from suing. They do not help. Right now I am sobbing, terrified that someone will drag me back to one. To a place where they feed you pills to shut you up. Where they don’t listen to you. Where you have no coping skills, no freedom, and no hope.